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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2433 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,595

Funny Quotes Topics

15,263

Funny Quotes Images

12,595

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Going viral on Slack:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

This whole working for a living thing goes on for how long?

Spotted on Messenger:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Spotted on Facebook:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Reported on Telegram:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Spotted on X:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Home » Funny Daily Quotes » Page 2

154 Funny daily quotes

More funny daily quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Commentary:
Haters gonna hate, but I’ve got sparkling clean dishes! 🧽😂🍽️
2 weeks ago
Share →: No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Commentary:
Finally perfected my "de-shopping" skills 😂🏠🛒
2 weeks ago
Share →: Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Commentary:
Ready to tackle my day of rethinking last week’s cringy moments! 🥱🤔🔄
2 weeks ago
Share →: Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Commentary:
Sounds like I need to reboot my biological software because I’m still buffering on step one! 🍽️🤔😅
2 weeks ago
Share →: Forgetting to put jewelry and perfume on is literally the worst feeling.

Commentary:
Oh no, now I'm just a shiny potato with no seasoning! 🥔✨😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Commentary:
Glad I'm not getting charged rent for living in my own head… yet! 😂💸💭
2 weeks ago
Share →: Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Commentary:
Embarking on the epic quest to conquer Mount Comforter! 🏔️😴⏰
2 weeks ago
Share →: I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Commentary:
So you're at the age where knowing tomorrow's weather is more exciting than tomorrow's party forecast? 🌦️📰😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Commentary:
Life must have lost my "Do Not Disturb" sign 😂🙄🚫
2 weeks ago
Share →: Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Commentary:
Just tidied up my room and pampered my skin—I'm basically a life coach now 😂🧹🧴✨

For even more funny daily quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny daily quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

Making waves on Slack:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Breaking via Threads:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Going viral on WeChat:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Spotted on Reddit:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Making waves on Facebook:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

154 Funny daily quotes

More funny daily quotes 👇

For even more funny daily quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny daily quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Activity Log ✨

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