142 Funny diet quotes

• Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

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  2 months ago

  craving, diet, food, food craving, grocery, grocery store, home, humor, i, irony, junk, junk food, mad, store, temptation, yesterday

• I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

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  2 months ago

  commentary, diet, eat, food, fry, humor, i, irony, planning, rich, salad, satire, social, social commentary

• Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

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  2 months ago

  cheeseburger, choice, diet, eat, family, food, food choice, food preference, front, fruits, honesty, humor, humor quote, just, kids, knowing, life, means, parent, parent life, parenting, parenting struggle, preference, pretend, struggle, vegetables

• I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

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  2 months ago

  am, comedy, dessert, diet, food, food joke, humor, i, italian, Italian food, joke, just, leaving, pasta, pizza, speak, where, wordplay

• Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

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  2 months ago

  diet, dinner, eating, food, food humor, humor, i, joke, lasagna, sarcasm, talk, today, vegetable, vegetable lasagna, want

• Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

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  2 months ago

  cookie, craving, diet, feeling, food, food joke, humor, joke, snack, weird

• It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

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  2 months ago

  alike, cravings, diet, exercise, extra, fitness, food, fry, humor, humor quote, me, much, snack, sound

• Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

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  2 months ago

  better, cookie, craving, diet, eating, humor, i, loss, motivation, self-control, skinny, temptation, tomorrow, wake, weight, weight loss

• The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

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  2 months ago

  being, diet, humor, joke, lifestyle, secrecy, vegan, yourself

• Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

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  2 months ago

  diet, eat, hiding, humor, marriage, relationship, snacks, spouse

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