116 Funny diet quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

  Commentary:
  "Being a fruitarian sounds peachy 🍑, but baby spinach deserves to grow up and fulfill its veggie dreams! 🌱😂 Lettuce have some compassion for the leafy greens! 🥬 #VeggieDrama"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

  Commentary:
  Absolutely! Salsa is practically a salad… with a spicy twist! 🌶️🥑 So go ahead and salsa your way to your daily veggie quota! Who knew getting your greens could be so festive? 💃🥗

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

  Commentary:
  🎄🍔🍟 "Don't blame the holidays for that extra serving of pie – you were already rocking that 'summer bod' in August! Maybe your beach towel needed a little more loving than your salad bowl 🤷‍♂️🤣 #HolidayFeastFail"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the ultimate mystery of diets – where salads make you gain weight and cookies disappear miraculously 😂🍪 It's like the scale is playing a sneaky game of hide and seek with your progress! Keep going, you're one week closer to solving the grand puzzle of dieting 😉💪

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone's trying to reboot their diet by using the ultimate key combination – Ctrl Alt Delete my fat! If only it were that easy to reset our bodies like a computer system. Perhaps a healthy dose of Ctrl+C for copying gym routines and Ctrl+V for pasting salads into our daily meals might help too!"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

  Commentary:
  "If only biscuits had the power to sculpt abs and provide essential nutrients, we’d all be lining up for the biscuit diet plan faster than you can say 'pass the butter'. But alas, the struggle for a beach-ready body continues, while we console ourselves with the knowledge that at least biscuits will always be here for us in our times of need (and cravings)."

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Never eat more than you can lift.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, the secret to a successful diet is to always make sure your eyes aren't bigger than your thighs! So, never eat more than you can lift, unless you're training for the heavy lifting competition at the next buffet!"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the humble carrot – nature's way of saying 'Enjoy this healthy snack… and be prepared to raid the fridge later!' It's the ultimate tease for your taste buds, keeping hunger at bay while sneakily plotting its revenge. Clever little veggie, isn't it?"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the betrayal of diets! They promise so much, but when it comes to giving back, they ghost you like a bad date. Unfollowing seems like the only reasonable response – who needs that kind of one-sided relationship anyway?"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

  Commentary:
  "Whoever said you can't have your candy and eat it too clearly never heard of the Halloween salad bowl diet! It's all about balance… and a little bit of trick-or-treating magic."

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