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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

January: the Monday of months.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,722

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Trending via Threads:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Going viral on Slack:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Just shared via Messenger:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Just shared via Messenger:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Live now on Threads:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Going bananas on Discord:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Making waves on Facebook:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

73 Funny dinner quotes

More funny dinner quotes 👇

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

2 months ago

activity, calorie, cooking, cooking humor, detector, dinner, every, exercise, fun, fun activity, homemade, humor, negative, negative calorie, pillow, smoke, smoke detector
My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

2 months ago

activity, cancel, dinner, food, friends, fun, fun activity, humor, plans, think
I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

3 months ago

activity, bill, bills, brisk, brisk walk, dinner, fortune, humor, lifestyle, me, restaurant, restaurant bill, saving, savings, straight, walk
Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

3 months ago

chicken, dinner, eat, egg, family, food, humor, i, joke, wanted, whole
I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

3 months ago

cartoon, cooking, creativity, dinner, food, going, honesty, humor, just, me, pot, real, things, throwing, witch
I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

3 months ago

dinner, door, family, give, humor, i, independence, kids, McDonald’s, me, money, nostalgia, own, parenting, place, say, visits, wait
I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

3 months ago

back, best, best man, dinner, dinner speech, everyone, friend, humor, man, open, second, second wedding, speech, wedding, welcome, welcome back
Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

3 months ago

chef, cooking, curse, dinner, gordon, Gordon Ramsay, humor, making, meal, ramsay
We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

3 months ago

argue, argument, breakfast, choice, decision, dinner, food, meal, relationship, where
Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

3 months ago

dinner, downstairs, eat, enemies, enemies to lovers, family, family dinner, gay, good, humor, i, ID, just, lovers, man, only, parents, relationship, stereotype, wanted, woman, yell

For even more funny dinner quotes, hit next 👇

All funny dinner quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Threads this month:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

41 shares on X this month:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Simplicity is so complicated.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Making waves on Messenger:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Trending via Discord:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Going viral on Twitch:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Just shared via Facebook:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Activity Log ✨

73 Funny dinner quotes

More funny dinner quotes 👇

All funny dinner quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨