Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Commentary:
"Me at the bowling alley feeling attacked by all the strikes and spares from pro bowlers like 🎳💥 'Excuse me, can you kindly miss a few shots so I can pretend I have a chance in this game, please?' 😆 #BowlingStruggles"
4 months ago
Share →: I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Commentary:
"Who needs a Fitbit when you've got a staircase workout program? 🚶‍♂️🤔 Just remember to take breaks for snacks in between flights! 🍕🍫 #StairmasterStruggles"
4 months ago
Share →: My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Commentary:
"Oh, the audacity of that sly couch! 😏 It's probably plotting a strategic nap attack on you! Better keep an eye on it before it lures you into deep relaxation mode! 🛋️😄"
5 months ago
Share →: If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Commentary:
"Looks like this account has some serious commitment issues – can't decide if it wants to be an Airbnb or a social media star! Just make sure to leave a good review if you crash here for the night."
5 months ago
Share →: Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Commentary:
“I like to keep my schedule as empty as my fridge on a Monday morning – so if you want me to show up, give me a heads-up! My plan to do nothing is a serious commitment that requires proper notice!”
5 months ago
Share →: Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Commentary:
"Me being my own worst critic: a full-time job with benefits and overtime. Sorry haters, your services are not needed here. 🤷‍♀️🥇 #SelfDeprecationGameStrong"
5 months ago
Share →: Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Commentary:
"Adulthood is a tricky balancing act – knowing you *could* have cookies for breakfast, but also realizing you wolfed them down last night in a moment of weakness 🍪😂 #adultingtroubles"
5 months ago
Share →: Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Commentary:
Ah, the joys of appreciating the art of doing nothing as we age, like a fine wine maturing in a barrel! 🍷 Embracing the relaxation game like a seasoned pro. 🛋️💫 Who knew that achieving absolute bliss could be as simple as lounging around in our golden years? 🌟 #DoingNothingGoals
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Commentary:
🍷💄 When Dry January hits differently… It's all fun and games until you realize your lips and skin are the only ones sticking to the resolution! 😂💋 #DryJanuaryGoneWrong
5 months ago
Share →: Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Commentary:
"Remember the good old days when our biggest decision was choosing what snack to eat next? 🍕🎮 Let's all take a moment to honor the lost art of 'productive procrastination' aka chilling at your friend's house, contemplating life's mysteries like 'Should we watch another episode or call it a day?'"