Funny quotes expectations

147 Funny expectations quotes

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Funny Quotes Apr 1, 2025

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Funny Quotes Mar 21, 2025

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Funny Quotes Mar 20, 2025

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Scams used to be like “free money!” and now they’re like “hello, we have a job for you”, which seems to be a bad sign.

Funny Quotes Mar 8, 2025

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Funny Quotes Mar 7, 2025

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Funny Quotes Feb 13, 2025

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Funny Quotes Feb 13, 2025

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Funny Quotes Feb 13, 2025

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Funny Quotes Feb 8, 2025

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Funny Quotes Feb 2, 2025

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025