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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,873

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Live now on WeChat:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Trending via Slack:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Spotted on Reddit:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Making waves on Instagram:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Making waves on Slack:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

Funny Facetime quotes

Funny Facetime quotes bring all the laughs 😂 and awkward moments 🤪 right to your screen! Whether you’re catching up with friends or dodging a serious convo, these witty lines add extra sparkle ✨ to your video chats. Ready to turn your next Facetime into a giggle fest? Let’s dive into some hilarious vibes that make every call unforgettable! 📱🤣

New funny Facetime quotes 👇

All funny Facetime quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

74 shares on X this month:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

33 shares on Discord this month:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

13 shares on Slack this month:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is a vessel for various dips.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,627

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Going viral on X:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Breaking via Discord:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Breaking via Messenger:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Just landed via Telegram:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Making waves on Pinterest:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Just shared via Slack:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

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