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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I mostly keep friendships going because they have my good Tupperware.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

7 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Trending via Pinterest:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Spotted on Discord:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Just landed via Discord:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Spotted on Instagram:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Going viral on TikTok:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

Making waves on X:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Home » Funny Facetime Quotes

Funny Facetime quotes

New funny Facetime quotes 👇

3 weeks ago
Share →: FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Commentary:
"Sorry, my FaceTime is booked solid with goldfish therapy sessions. 🐠💼💎"
2 months ago
Share →: I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Commentary:
Haha, so you're saying FaceTime's like a VIP club? 😄📱💘 Better be on that exclusive list!
6 months ago
Share →: Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the modern ritual of making grown men pucker up for a steamy smooch with their trusty camera on Facetime 📸💋. Who needs cupid's arrow when technology can make hearts flutter at the touch of a button? #CameraKisses"

For even more funny Facetime quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny Facetime quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

7 minutes ago

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Breaking via Threads:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Breaking via Instagram:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Breaking via Instagram:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Reported on WeChat:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Trending via Snapchat:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Spotted on Discord:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

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