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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has shared:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has shared:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has bookmarked:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has downloaded:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, β€œIt sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has shared:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has shared:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has viewed:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has shared:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,726

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on Messenger:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ve started ripping my shirt in half like Hulk Hogan when I mean business. Long story short, I’m looking for a new job.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Trending via Facebook:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Trending via Facebook:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Going viral on Facebook:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Live now on YouTube:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Just landed via YouTube:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Just shared via X:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Funny finances quotes

Funny finances quotes bring a chuckle to the sometimes stressful world of money management πŸ’ΈπŸ˜‚ Whether you’re budgeting, saving, or just trying to survive payday, a little humor goes a long way! From witty takes on spending habits to clever insights about debt, these laughs make handling cash a bit more enjoyable πŸ’°πŸŽ‰ Ready to smile while you stack those coins? Let’s dive into the lighter side of finances! πŸ˜„πŸ’΅

New funny finances quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny finances quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Strict parents raise good liars.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

48 shares on X this month:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Long-term relationship? Like Tom and Jerry?

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œYou let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,289

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has viewed:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡» has downloaded:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has viewed:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with β€œWelcome back everyone”?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has copied:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡± has shared:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has viewed:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has shared:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Making waves on Discord:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Making waves on Facebook:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Live now on Threads:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Breaking via Slack:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Spotted on Telegram:

When I bark at a dog, I always worry that I might have inadvertently said something wrong.

Just shared via TikTok:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Just landed via Twitch:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

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