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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,294

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Just shared via Messenger:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

Making waves on YouTube:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Spotted on Messenger:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

Live now on Slack:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Live now on WeChat:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Funny finances quotes

Funny finances quotes bring a chuckle to the sometimes stressful world of money management 💸😂 Whether you’re budgeting, saving, or just trying to survive payday, a little humor goes a long way! From witty takes on spending habits to clever insights about debt, these laughs make handling cash a bit more enjoyable 💰🎉 Ready to smile while you stack those coins? Let’s dive into the lighter side of finances! 😄💵

New funny finances quotes 👇

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

1 week ago

after, Christmas, everyone, finance, finances, forehead, forehead kiss, gift, going, happy, holiday, humor, kiss, money, quick, review
When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

1 week ago

6, am, broke, daily, daily life, day, dizziness, eating, finances, financial, financial struggle, humor, hunger, life, money, poverty, struggle, whole
You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

1 week ago

account, bank, cash, depressed, depression, finances, financial, financial joke, health, humor, income, joke, just, mental, mental health, money, need, sarcasm, wealth
Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

2 weeks ago

adult, being, debt, finances, humor, little, lot, money, realization, responsibility
I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

3 weeks ago

1999, bills, finances, humor, i, nostalgia, party, pay, responsibility, want
I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

3 weeks ago

card, cards, credit, credit card, finances, humor, i, joke, limit, spending, too
Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

3 weeks ago

advice, again, budgeting, finances, financial, financial advice, good, humor, i, mistake, money
Apparently I’m the reason why I never have any money. I am shocked!

3 weeks ago

am, finances, humor, i, money, never, reason, self-reflection, shocked
Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

3 weeks ago

account, bank, bank account, dream, finances, humor, i, me, money, myself, self-care, should, something, spending, treat
All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

3 weeks ago

am, bills, finances, good, good to go, humor, i, money, outstanding, sarcasm

All funny finances quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Discord this month:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

77 shares on Discord this month:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

38 shares on Discord this month:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

14 shares on WeChat this month:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love my bed so much, what a place.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

You are the Monday of my life.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Just landed via TikTok:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Just shared via Telegram:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Shared recently on Reddit:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Spotted on Threads:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Spotted on Telegram:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Live now on Reddit:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

Just shared via Messenger:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

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