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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has shared:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡³ has shared:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has copied:

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡² has shared:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡΄ has copied:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has viewed:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡© has bookmarked:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡» has copied:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,475

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Instagram:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Trending via WeChat:

Why is it spelled β€œcamouflage” and not β€œ β€œ?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Live now on Discord:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Seen just now on TikTok:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

50 shares on Facebook this month:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Alexa, turn off the planet.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has downloaded:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has downloaded:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡² has downloaded:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has shared:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has copied:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡¬ has copied:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡¬ has copied:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Breaking via YouTube:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said β€œbreast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Breaking via Telegram:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Trending via Snapchat:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

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