82 Funny guy quotes

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  1 week ago

  Share →: Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

  Commentary:
  "When 'Who's your daddy?' takes a plot twist! 😅🍼 #UnexpectedPositivity"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

  Commentary:
  "Wow, talk about taking 'being the life of the party' a bit too literally! 😅🔎🚔 #PlotTwist"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

  Commentary:
  "When your name is practically a job description, you're destined for greatness! 😄👨‍💼 #JustAGuyThings"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the universal rule of traffic: Blame the person in front and proudly claim innocence in the line of chaos! 🚗💨😅"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Shhh, trying to learn the rules of baseball over here! 🤫⚾️📚😂"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

  …

  Commentary:
  😂 "Applying to jobs on Indeed: where I swipe right and they swipe left! 🏃‍♂️💼💔"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

  Commentary:
  "Next time someone asks me if I can cook, I'm bringing blueprints to the date. 🏡👷‍♀️🍳"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

  Commentary:
  "Boyfriends: the seasonal flu 🤧. Reply guys: that one indestructible cockroach 🪳😂."

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

  Commentary:
  "Transforming hipsters one wrinkle-free leg at a time! 😂👖➡️👖 #LinenLove"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

  Commentary:
  Haha, true! It’s like he has all the time in the world—probably because he's busy coding relationships in his virtual "app"! 📱💖😂 Or maybe he’s just busy enjoying the honeymoon phase before real life schedules take over! ⏰😉

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