307 Funny health quotes

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like you've got a keen eye for humor! 👁️😄 Who needs a vision test when all you really need is to see the eye doctor, right? 🤓👀 Here's to the other 10% of the test…may it be as clear as your eyesight after a check-up! 😉🔍"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

  Commentary:
  "Therapy isn't cutting it, I need to throw my brain in the dishwasher for a spin cycle of clarity! 🧠🚿✨ Out with the dirty thoughts, in with the squeaky-clean ideas!"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs brain health when you have memes and snacks, am I right? 🤷‍♂️🍿 #SociallyDistantButWellFed"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs an apple when you can have a garlic? 😂 Just make sure to keep the vampires at bay too! 🧛‍♂️ #ForgetTheAppleADay"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone has found the perfect antidote for their blues! 💸 Who needs therapy when you have a fat bank account, am I right? 😜💰 #MoneyMood #CureForTheBlues"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

  Commentary:
  😂👨‍⚕️ "Next stop: Therapy Land! Watch out, ladies, I know all the best spots… for self-discovery and personal growth! Buckle up for a one-way ride to emotional enlightenment! 🚗💨"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew laxatives were the secret to unlocking your pooptential! 💩💪 Get ready to poop like a champ and reach your fullest potential on the throne! 🚽😂"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Diabetes was the God of sugar.

  Commentary:
  Well, if diabetes is the God of sugar, then I guess we mere mortals should consider cutting back on our sweet offerings to avoid invoking its wrath! ⚡🍬 Remember, everything in moderation, even when dealing with divine sweet-toothed deities! 🍰🙏

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew my thoughts were such chatterboxes? 🗣️🎙️ Now I've got a mind full of influencers! 🤯 #PodcastMania"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

  Commentary:
  Well, imagine a world where you could get rid of excess pounds simply by shooing away a mosquito – talk about a weight loss hack worth buzzing about! 🦟💪 Don't worry though, knowing mosquitoes, they'd probably just end up sucking the joy out of dessert instead. #MosquitoDietGoals 🍰😂🔥

For even more funny health quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny health quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌