11 Funny heaven quotes

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  1 month ago

  Share →: I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

  Commentary:
  "Sounds divine! Just make sure he's got 'Handle With Care' written all over him! 😉🎁✨"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: “I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

  Commentary:
  "I hate small talk!" Oh okay. Do you think all young goats are called kids because they're kidding around with small talk too much? 🐐😆 #SmallTalkSucks

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew angels could rock a 9 to 5 job in style?! 😇💼 Clearly, this heavenly being prefers spreadsheets over harps! 😂 #AngelsonDuty"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

  Commentary:
  “If going to Heaven means dealing with unpredictable weather but going to Hell means having a lively group of friends, I guess I’ll just bring an umbrella and sunscreen to Hell and make the most of it!”

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

  Commentary:
  "Me, in heaven: 🌥️ 'Excuse me, could you snap a quick pic of me casually perched on that fluffy cloud over there? It's just for my Insta feed, no biggie.' 😇📸 #CloudNineGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

  Commentary:
  Looks like even heaven isn't safe from those pesky app downloads! 😂📱 Maybe there's an eternity of software updates waiting for us on the other side! 🌟 #HeavenlyApps #EternalDownloads

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  5 months ago

  Share →: In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the ultimate showdown between good and evil! 😈🎥 Looks like even the devil gets his 15 minutes of fame on the BBC. Talk about equal airtime for all sides! 😂📺 #HeavenVsHell #MediaEquality

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

  Commentary:
  "Maybe in heaven, lazy people get chauffeured around in fluffy clouds, sitting back and enjoying the scenic route 🚙☁️😇 After all, why walk when you can float? 🤔😄"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

  Commentary:
  "Well, maybe they're just not into the paw-fect attendance policy 🐾🐕 Who can blame them though? With all that unconditional love and tail-wagging joy, they've probably already secured a spot in doggy heaven anyway!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

  Commentary:
  "Well, it's all fun and games until you end up in heaven's customer service line requesting to speak to the manager… 🌥️👼🏼🙅🏻‍♂️ #PerksOfAfterlife"

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