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100 Funny honesty quotes

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

3 months ago

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

3 months ago

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

3 months ago

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

3 months ago

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

3 months ago

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

3 months ago

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

3 months ago

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

3 months ago

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

3 months ago

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

3 months ago

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

3 months ago

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

3 months ago

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

3 months ago

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

3 months ago

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

3 months ago

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

3 months ago

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

3 months ago

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

3 months ago

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

3 months ago

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

3 months ago