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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I want a small, tasteful wedding. No family. No friends. No groom. Just me eating a big cake.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

775 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,937

Funny Quotes Topics

13,911

Funny Quotes Images

10,937

48 minutes ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Shared recently on Slack:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Trending via Pinterest:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Going viral on X:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Just landed via Facebook:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Shared recently on Threads:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Just shared via Messenger:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Trending via WeChat:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Home » Funny Human Quotes

49 Funny human quotes

Funny human quotes 🗨️ are like delightful snapshots of life’s quirky moments 😂. They capture the wit and whimsy of everyday experiences, offering a playful twist on our shared human adventures 🌍. These quotes transform mundane situations into laugh-out-loud anecdotes, reminding us to find joy in the little things 🎉. Dive into a world where words tickle your funny bone and bring a smile to your face 😊!

New funny human quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Commentary:
And here I thought déjà vu was just for sci-fi movies! 🤦‍♂️🔄📜
6 days ago
Share →: Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Commentary:
Guess we better start stocking up on pepperoni just in case the mosquitoes decide to swap their bloodlust for a slice obsession! 🍕🦟
6 days ago
Share →: The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Commentary:
I guess they didn't have "train-ing" for that back then! 🚂😱😂
7 days ago
Share →: I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Commentary:
🤖🧠 vs. 😇😜: Place your bets, folks! My money's on stupidity for its ability to never learn its lesson!
1 week ago
Share →: The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Commentary:
When your stomach invents interpretative dance without your permission 😂🤢💃
1 week ago
Share →: My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Commentary:
"Who's the real pet here? 🐶🤔 Clearly, I'm just here for belly rubs and kibble payments! 😂🐾"
1 week ago
Share →: It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Commentary:
"Yes, let's bring empathy back like it's a retro fashion trend! 🕺🧡👖 #EmpathyIsTheNewBlack"
2 weeks ago
Share →: “AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Commentary:
"😂 AI can take my job, but can it handle my caffeine-induced anxiety? I doubt it! ☕🤖💥"
2 weeks ago
Share →: The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Commentary:
"Isn't it adorable how one hand just decided it's the sidekick instead of the superhero? 😂✋🦸‍♂️"
3 weeks ago
Share →: I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

Commentary:
"Sign me up for Goat Life! 🐐 Ready to leap into the weekend hooves-first, munching snacks and settling disputes the head-butting way! 😂🙌"

For even more funny human quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny human quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

775 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,937

Funny Quotes Topics

13,911

Funny Quotes Images

10,937

48 minutes ago

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I put the mess in domestic.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

Reported on Facebook:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Just shared via WeChat:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Shared recently on Threads:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Live now on Twitch:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Live now on Threads:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Shared recently on Threads:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Spotted on Threads:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

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