Funny quotes human

35 Funny human quotes

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

3 hours ago

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

1 day ago

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

3 weeks ago

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

4 weeks ago

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

4 weeks ago

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

4 weeks ago

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

2 months ago

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

2 months ago

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

2 months ago

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

2 months ago

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

2 months ago

Human hibernation should be a thing.

2 months ago

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

3 months ago

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

3 months ago

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

3 months ago

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

3 months ago

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

3 months ago

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

3 months ago

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

3 months ago

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

3 months ago

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

3 months ago

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

3 months ago

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

3 months ago

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

3 months ago

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

3 months ago

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

3 months ago

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

3 months ago

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

3 months ago

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

3 months ago

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

3 months ago