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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Dec 30, 2025

3,932

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Trending via Messenger:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Just shared via Slack:

To-do list: bite the hand that feeds me, put all my eggs in one basket, kill two birds with one stone, let the cat out of the bag, think inside the box, burn bridges, walk on thin ice, play with fire.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Just shared via Threads:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Live now on Slack:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Going viral on Reddit:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

88 Funny human quotes

Funny human quotes 🗨️ are like delightful snapshots of life’s quirky moments 😂. They capture the wit and whimsy of everyday experiences, offering a playful twist on our shared human adventures 🌍. These quotes transform mundane situations into laugh-out-loud anecdotes, reminding us to find joy in the little things 🎉. Dive into a world where words tickle your funny bone and bring a smile to your face 😊!

New funny human quotes 👇

When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomachs?

0

24 hours ago

animal, animal emotion, butterfly, emotion, fall, feel, feeling, human, humans, humor, love, stomach
I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

0

2 weeks ago

animal, animals, human, humor, i, just, ones, sarcasm, smile
Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

0

2 weeks ago

art, cat, chill, exist, existence, human, humans, i, job, jobs, just, need, relaxation, why
Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

0

3 weeks ago

AI, anti-AI, apocalypse, being, comparison, feels, human, humans, humor, right, zombie, zombie apocalypse
AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

0

3 weeks ago

AI, emotion, human, human emotion, humor, machine, me, much, never, put, replace, replacement, self-loathing, technology
If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

0

3 weeks ago

advice, awe, beauty, before, diversity, form, human, human form, humor, i, me, naked, picture, room, thanks
“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

0

4 weeks ago

20, finding, human, humor, jeans, luck, money, old, surprise, version
Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal humor, behavior, calm, dog, dogs, funny observation, human, humans, humor, jobs, observation, pet, pet behavior, relationship, stress
Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, another, awkward, awkward interaction, being, boyfriend, daughter, every, family, hate, hospitality, human, humor, interaction, life, me, nice, question, relationship, watching, while, wife
Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

0

2 months ago

experience, experiences, frustration, human, human experience, interface, keyboard, remote, technology, truly, TV, type, typing, user, user interface, using, worst

For even more funny human quotes, hit next 👇

All funny human quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Twitch this month:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

79 shares on Discord this month:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

91 shares on Instagram this month:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,807

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Spotted on TikTok:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Making waves on Threads:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Spotted on Discord:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Just shared via X:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Breaking via WeChat:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

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