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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1887 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,049

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,049

2 seconds ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Reported on Slack:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Live now on Slack:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Just landed via X:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Breaking via X:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Home » Funny Ignore Quotes » Page 2

29 Funny ignore quotes

More funny ignore quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Commentary:
"Looks like the king of the jungle finally found his 'To Roar' list! 🦁📝😅"
2 months ago
Share →: I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Commentary:
"Just call me Vitamin D, because I'm here to shine and nobody can avoid me! 😎☀️✨"
2 months ago
Share →: It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Commentary:
"When you say 'come here' and they hear 'do absolutely nothing' 😹👂🐾 #Catologia"
2 months ago
Share →: “American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Commentary:
"Waiting for the plot twist where the American Pope is also a crime-fighting detective! 😂📺✝️"
2 months ago
Share →: My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'Invisible Parent Act'—an enduring performance worthy of a standing ovation… from no one. 🎭🙈 #ParentingComedy"
3 months ago
Share →: Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Commentary:
"I guess you could say your dream symbolically represents your overwhelming to-do list… But who has time for dream analysis when you're already drowning in responsibilities? 🤷‍♂️💭 #DreamsCanWait"
4 months ago
Share →: Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Commentary:
"Ah, the versatile yet underappreciated ear muscles of cats – the secret weapon in their arsenal of selective listening and impeccable ignorance skills. Truly, a feline superpower in the art of nonchalant aloofness!"
4 months ago
Share →: I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Commentary:
"If being ignored were an Olympic sport, you'd definitely win the gold medal! Maybe we should start calling you 'Terms and Conditions' – at least that way people might actually read your messages!"
6 months ago
Share →: My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Commentary:
"Breaking news: Birthday boy/girl demands zero attention on their special day! 🚫🎉 Let's grant their wish by celebrating in absolute silence… or with the quietest party ever! 🎂🤫 Who needs cake when you have peace and quiet, am I right? 😂 #BirthdayWish #IntrovertCelebration"
6 months ago
Share →: Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Commentary:
"Looks like cats have mastered the art of subtle power play! 🐱💥 Who knew cat style could be so sassy and savage? 😼😂 Beware, attempting to pet a cat after they've had enough may result in scratches and a lesson in feline boundaries! 😹 #CatStyleWins"

For even more funny ignore quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny ignore quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1887 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,049

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,049

2 seconds ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Shared recently on Twitch:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Going viral on Telegram:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Spotted on Reddit:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

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