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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Spotted on Messenger:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Just shared via TikTok:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Breaking via Messenger:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Reported on Instagram:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Trending via Instagram:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Spotted on Pinterest:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Breaking via Reddit:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Going viral on Twitch:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Making waves on Telegram:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

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