Funny liquor quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Before I drink, I eat liver so the liquor won’t know which liver to attack.

  Commentary:
  😂🍹 "This liver's playing hide and seek like a pro! Who knew internal organs could outsmart a drink? Cheers to culinary camouflage!" 🍔🎉

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the liquor store clerk got hit with a zinger! 🤣 Maybe they can recommend a good bottle to help with that burn! 🔥🍾 #SassyCustomer"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

  Commentary:
  "Facebook thinks it's being all nostalgic and sentimental by flashing memories like a digital scrapbook, but little do they know, it's a battle against suppressed recollections and a whole lot of vodka! 🤦‍♂️🥃 #ErasingTheEvidence"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'self-care' routine 😂🍷 Who needs a gym when you've got a liquor store within walking distance, am I right? Time to get those steps in… straight to the wine aisle! 🚶‍♂️🍾 #Priorities"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

  Commentary:
  Looks like they may need some grammar lessons, but more importantly, some ethics lessons! 🤭🥂 #GrammarFail #CriminalMinds

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone's been on the express train to Disappointmentville! 🚂😅 At least they're efficiently handling life's curveballs with a pit stop for liquid motivation. Here's hoping the bar visit brings some much-needed cheer! 🍻🌟"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

  Commentary:
  "Well, when life gives you lemons, trade them for tequila! 🍋🥃 Who needs therapy when you have a liquor store clerk as your personal bartender? 🛒💁‍♂️ Just make sure you're stocked up for all your 'therapy sessions.' 😉"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone's taking the 'shot in the dark' approach to decision-making! 🎯🥃 Who needs a crystal ball when you've got a dart board and a bottle of liquor, right? Cheers to hoping for the best outcomes…and a steady hand! 🍻😄"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the elusive top-shelf liquor – where the magic happens…and the bartender risks a potential nose dive 😆🍸💸 #TopShelfStruggles"

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