220 Funny little quotes

• A little sign under the doorbell that says, “think twice, adventurer.”

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  2 months ago

  adventure, adventurer, doorbell, humor, little, sign, think, think twice, twice, warning

• The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

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  2 months ago

  art, artist, concept, courtroom, courtroom drama, doodler, drama, humor, little, me, murder, sketch, sketch artist

• Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

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  2 months ago

  conspiracy, here, humor, little, music, psyop, relationship, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, tunes, wife

• If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

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  2 months ago

  alert, blinky, blinky light, direction, drivers, humor, light, lights, little, traffic, turn, vehicle

• Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

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  2 months ago

  believe, career, childhood, cover, cover letter, dream, dumb, ever, fun, girl, grow, having, humor, i, letter, letters, little, pony, rainbow, ride, sarcasm, space, work

• Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

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  2 months ago

  commitment, dress, effort, expectations, humor, i, little, relationship, success

• I threw a ball for my dog. May be a little extravagant, but he looks great in a tux.

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  2 months ago

  activity, ball, dog, extravagant, fun, fun activity, great, humor, i, little, looks, pet, tux

• Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

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  2 months ago

  beer, example, girlfriend, humor, little, mine, moving, moving in, quirks, realize, relationship, storage, stores, together, vegetables

• I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

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  2 months ago

  break, break in, going, house, humor, little, microwave, plate, steal, theft, thing, wheels

• I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

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  2 months ago

  aging, bring, children, embarrassing, embarrassment, family, happiness, humor, i, joy, little, little things, me, older, parenting, things

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