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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Live now on WhatsApp:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Breaking via Snapchat:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Just landed via Discord:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Breaking via WeChat:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Spotted on Discord:

Fall fashion: where we all transform into stylish, toasty marshmallows!

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

256 Funny mental quotes

More funny mental quotes 👇

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

2 weeks ago

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Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

2 weeks ago

being, gracefully, happiness, happy, health, humor, insane, insanity, joy, life, mental, mental health, secret, self-acceptance, uniqueness
Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

2 weeks ago

activity, day, detox, digital, digital detox, friends, fun, fun activity, grass, gutted, health, mental, mental health, nature, offline, outdoor, outdoor activity, report, socializing, spending, touching, touching grass
So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

2 weeks ago

able, day, distraction, dream, feelings, glad, humor, i, me, mental, mental state, moving, moving on, sarcasm, state, subconscious, thinking
Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

2 weeks ago

activity, car, car ride, fun, fun activity, good, health, loud, loud music, mental, mental health, music, relaxation, ride, self-care, solo, soul, yourself
I need a vaccine against overthinking.

2 weeks ago

health, humor, i, mental, mental health, need, overthinking, relief, stress, stress relief, vaccine
Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

2 weeks ago

being, favorite, favorite patient, health, humor, mental, mental health, mental wellness, patient, psychotherapy, therapist, therapy, wellness
“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

2 weeks ago

dark, dark humor, frustration, health, humor, just, live, mental, mental health, password, resilience, sarcasm, too, wait
Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

2 weeks ago

counseling, health, humor, letting, life, manager, mental, mental health, relief, self-care, speak, stress, stress relief, therapy
You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

2 weeks ago

admiration, attraction, beautiful, beauty, crush, ever, health, humor, infatuation, mental, mental health, mentally, woman

For even more funny mental quotes, hit next 👇

All funny mental quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Threads this month:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

30 shares on Slack this month:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

56 shares on X this month:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

37 shares on Slack this month:

You don’t read Dostoevsky. You survive him.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Not my room, not my elephant.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Trending via Twitch:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Making waves on Twitch:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Just shared via WeChat:

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Breaking via Twitch:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Activity Log ✨

256 Funny mental quotes

More funny mental quotes 👇

All funny mental quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨