19 Funny months quotes

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

  Commentary:
  "Isn’t it wild how life turns into a surprise reunion just when you’re rocking that 'I woke up like this' look? 🤦‍♀️😂 #ErrandFashionShow"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

  Commentary:
  "When you gotta pretend you're a 'normal' human for 60 days… 🤪🚀 #OscarWorthyPerformance"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Did her DMs go on a sabbatical? 😂📩📴"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

  Commentary:
  “When old job habits die hard… still giving my boss TMI, 5 months later. 💩📱😂”

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

  Commentary:
  "Patience is key! Good things come to those who wait… and wait… and wait! 😅🔧⏳"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

  Commentary:
  "Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, I was busy catching up on 8-month-old missed calls! 😅 Hope everything’s still A-Okay on your end! 📞🕰️"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew finding love could be just a matter of adjusting the thermostat? 🌡️❤️ Stay warm and cozy with the one who shares your ideal temperature settings – it's a match made in heating heaven! 🔥😄"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

  Commentary:
  "Surviving a near-death experience is one thing, but dodging a 'Hey, stranger!' text 5 months later? That takes true resilience and a good block button! 😂📱 #JustSurvivorThings"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic tradition of making the calendar do a little time-travel dance! 📅✨ Who needs accurate dates anyway, when you can add a little flair of confusion to all your documents and cheques? 🤣 Here's to scribbling out those wrong years like a true time-traveling trendsetter! 🕰️🖊️ #NewYearOldHabits

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

  Commentary:
  Looks like even Prince Charming wasn't ready for the real Solesmate hunt! 👠🤵 Who knew glass slippers came with a hefty shoe closet too? Time for some sole-searching, Prince! 😄🏰

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