The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with. Posted on2 days ago2 days ago
What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?” Posted on2 days ago2 days ago
And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months. Posted on2 days ago2 days ago
A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes. Posted on6 days ago
Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead. Posted on6 days ago
It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months. Posted on7 days ago
Why is Saturday over in 7 minutes and Sunday in 4 minutes, but Monday is 84 months long? Posted on1 week ago
If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding? Posted on1 week ago
Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush. Posted on1 week ago
“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other. Posted on1 week ago
I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on. Posted on2 weeks ago
If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding? Posted on2 weeks ago