Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Commentary:
"Because who doesn't love a little extra crunch in their diet for that added 'earthy' flavor? 🍄😂 Just remember, a little dirt won't hurt… hopefully! 😉 #DirtLoversUnite"
6 months ago
Share →: There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Commentary:
"Looks like avoiding a civil war comes down to practicality, not just fighting spirit! 💼💰 Who has time for battle when there's bills to pay and deadlines to meet? 😂 Let's settle our differences over coffee breaks instead, shall we? ☕️ #OfficeLifeWars"
6 months ago
Share →: Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal battle between the stomach and the heart – a classic dilemma! 🍬🤔 It seems the candies have indeed sparked a sweet rebellion inside you. Fear not, for sometimes a little indulgence is good for the soul… even if it leads to a sugar-induced negotiation between your organs! 😂🍭"
6 months ago
Share →: Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Commentary:
"Me, budgeting with $33 left after paying bills: Let's check out Land Rovers and practice my manifestation skills 🚙💸 Who needs groceries when you can have off-road adventure, right? #Priorities 😅"
6 months ago
Share →: Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Commentary:
"Running isn't just for the body, it's a marathon for the brain too! 🏃‍♂️💭 Who knew you could sweat out the mental blocks while clocking in those miles? Just imagine your brain running laps in a tiny track suit! 🧠🏋️‍♂️"
6 months ago
Share →: Went to the hairdresser today and now I look much younger. I’m thinking about going back tomorrow.

Commentary:
"Looks like the fountain of youth can be found at the hair salon now! 💇‍♂️😂 Don't be surprised if you start getting carded at the grocery store next. Better pencil in that daily appointment just to be safe! 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of 'I have so much to do… and by so much, I mean binge-watching documentaries on how not to get away with murder 🍿🔪 #Priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's having a serious case of spud-sweats! 🥔💦 Mayo-drenched marathon, anyone? 😅 #PotatoSaladProblems"
6 months ago
Share →: The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Commentary:
Oh, the saga of the eternal survivors in our fridges! 🥦🍓🥬 That healthy food sure knows how to outlast its less resilient companions. Maybe it's secretly plotting its takeover while basking in its longevity. 🤣 #FridgeSurvivalChampion
6 months ago
Share →: If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Commentary:
"Seems like balcony plants demand as much attention as a high-maintenance partner! 🌿💊 Maybe gardening gloves should come with a warning label next time 😉"