Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal quest for true passion – a journey as elusive as finding the perfect LinkedIn profile picture! 🤣 Maybe one day we'll all be "thrilled" to update our skills section too! #LinkedInStruggles
6 months ago
Share →: Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet paradox of social distancing: the less you see them, the more you like them! 🤣👫 #IntrovertWins"
6 months ago
Share →: I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Commentary:
"Ah, the dreaded togetherness! 😂 Who needs material wealth when you can have endless family drama instead? 🤷‍♂️🤣 #familybonding #dramaqueen"
6 months ago
Share →: I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic art of poetic roasting 👨‍🎤🔥 It's like a lyrical battle of wits where insults are disguised as compliments and rhymes become the ultimate weapon! Who needs swords when you have verses? 🗡️📝 #RapBattlePoetrySlam"
6 months ago
Share →: Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Commentary:
"Looks like both the nurse and life share a common agenda – always ready to add a little extra sting! 🩺😅 Hang in there, buddy! Life's just trying to keep you on your toes (and maybe in a bit of pain)! 💉😂"
6 months ago
Share →: My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Commentary:
"Well, that's one way to send a subtle message! 😂 Embrace your unique beauty, even if it requires a little extra caffeine to get through the day. ☕️💁‍♀️"
6 months ago
Share →: The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Commentary:
Looks like your plant app is being about as helpful as a magic eight ball! 🪴💦🚱 Maybe it's time to switch to a Plant Psychic app instead? 🔮😂
6 months ago
Share →: Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sheer audacity of a new device trying to login… from the cozy confines of your own home! 🤔📱🏠 Quick, call Interpol! This is clearly a case for the world's top cyber secret agents to handle! 🔍🕵️‍♂️💼"
6 months ago
Share →: Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Commentary:
"Working with children is truly a rewarding experience. Who wouldn't want the gift of lice in exchange? 🦗💆‍♂️ It's the ultimate job perk, right? Just a little something extra to keep you on your toes! 😂 #LifeOfAChildcareProvider"
6 months ago
Share →: Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Commentary:
Donuts and acoustic guitars both have holes, but you won't find sprinkles on a guitar… unless you've been practicing with a sweet tooth! 🎸🍩 Just remember, one sounds better with strumming while the other sounds better with munching! 🎶🤣