Funny quotes night Page 3

135 Funny night quotes

Funny night quotes shine a light on the hilarious side of the nighttime hours! 🌙😆 From late-night snacking to sleepless adventures, these quotes capture the humor in our nocturnal habits. Embrace the laughter that comes with the darkness and enjoy the lighter side of night! 😂🌟

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

3 months ago

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

3 months ago

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

3 months ago

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

3 months ago

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

3 months ago

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

3 months ago

Unpopular Opinion: Die Hard is a Harry Potter movie. He sneaks around a tower at night avoiding Alan Rickman.

3 months ago

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

3 months ago

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

3 months ago

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

3 months ago

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

3 months ago

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

3 months ago

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

3 months ago

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

3 months ago

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

3 months ago

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

3 months ago

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

3 months ago

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

3 months ago

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

3 months ago

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

3 months ago

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

3 months ago

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

3 months ago

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

3 months ago

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

3 months ago

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

3 months ago

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

3 months ago

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

3 months ago

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

3 months ago

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

3 months ago

Being single allows you to do a lot of things. For example, standing naked in the kitchen at night and eating cold pizza.

3 months ago