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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,491

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

“I’m either extremely productive or staring at the wall like I’m in a Victorian painting.”

Going viral on WeChat:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Spotted on Slack:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Trending via YouTube:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t think we’ll ever see aliens. I bet that they’re just gathering information and waiting for us to destroy ourselves.

Spotted on Twitch:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Just landed via Instagram:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Making waves on Messenger:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

62 Funny noise quotes

More funny noise quotes 👇

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

3 weeks ago

air, air conditioner, conditioner, embarrassment, front, funny moment, having, humor, just, me, misunderstanding, moment, neighbor, noise, relationship, sex, standing, today
I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

3 weeks ago

band, excited, excitement, fan, favorite, favorite band, humor, i, listen, live, music, noise, rain, seeing, someone, sound, white, white noise
Shazam but for random noises outside.

3 weeks ago

creativity, humor, noise, outside, random, random noise, Shazam, sound, superhero
Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

3 weeks ago

am, background, background noise, comfort, entertainment, habit, i, isolation, just, noise, turn, TV, weird
You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

3 weeks ago

acoustics, bowl, fart, Gondor, horn, house, humor, morning, noise, struggle, thanks, toilet, try, waking, whole
My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

3 weeks ago

annoyance, bagpipes, hear, humor, i, music, neighbors, night, noise, shouting
Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

3 weeks ago

cubicle, employee, employee handbook, handbook, humor, i, life, me, noise, office, office life, show, weird, weird noise, where, workplace, workplace humor
50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

3 weeks ago

50, daily, daily life, decision, exercise, family, humor, just, life, noise, parenting, stairs, trying, walking, worth
My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

3 weeks ago

dark, dark humor, funny situation, humor, i, making, mobility, noise, over, people, run, screaming, screaming noise, situation, wheelchair
My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

3 weeks ago

aging, body, cracks, every, fitness, glow, glow stick, humor, i, light, move, noise, pain, stick, time

For even more funny noise quotes, hit next 👇

All funny noise quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Slack this month:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

77 shares on Reddit this month:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I miss the old days back in 1955, when I didn’t exist.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Live now on Threads:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Going viral on Threads:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Just landed via YouTube:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Going bananas on Threads:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Trending via Reddit:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Activity Log ✨

62 Funny noise quotes

More funny noise quotes 👇

All funny noise quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨