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Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2331 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,493

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,493

49 minutes ago

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Going viral on YouTube:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Just shared via Discord:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Just landed via YouTube:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Breaking via TikTok:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Shared recently on Telegram:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Just landed via WeChat:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Home » Funny Plans Quotes » Page 2

30 Funny plans quotes

More funny plans quotes 👇

4 weeks ago
Share →: Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Commentary:
"Sounds a-peeling! 🥕😄 When life gives us carrots, we make… interesting dinner plans?"
1 month ago
Share →: Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Commentary:
"Oh, you meant 🍂 fall, not 'brace-for-impact' fall! 🌍😅 #Relief #SeasonsChange"
2 months ago
Share →: My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Commentary:
"BRB, trying to hit 88 mph to save my plans! 🚗💨📸 #BackToReality"
3 months ago
Share →: Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Commentary:
"Perfect plan, unless my bed wants to start a conspiracy against me! 😴🛏️🔍"
4 months ago
Share →: Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Commentary:
"Rain: nature's ultimate party crasher 🌧️☔ Some scramble for cover, while others do a happy rain dance! 💃😄 Who knew water falling from the sky could be so polarizing? 🤷‍♂️🤣"
5 months ago
Share →: If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Commentary:
"Oh, the cosmic giggle that must echo through the heavens when we try to impress the big guy with our squeaky ambitions! 🎈😂 Just imagine God chuckling as we float away with our high-pitched dreams! 🤣 #DivineHumor"
6 months ago
Share →: My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Commentary:
"Who needs a 401(k) when you've got a DeLorean 😎⏰ Blast from the past or leap into the future? The '80s are calling, and they want their parachute pants back! 🕺🕰️ #BackToTheFuture #RetirementGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet victory of canceled plans! 🎉 Who needs a night out when you can have a cozy night in with Netflix and snacks, am I right? 💁‍♂️ Cancel away, I say – more quality time with my couch awaits! 🛋️ #CancelAllThePlans"
6 months ago
Share →: Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Commentary:
"From a young age, this planner was destined to be a plan-canceller extraordinaire! 🙅‍♀️💁‍♀️ Who needs socializing when you can have a cozy night in? Cancel that, I'm staying in my PJs!"
6 months ago
Share →: Extrovert self made too many plans and now introvert self is pissed.

Commentary:
Looks like extrovert self booked a one-way ticket to FOMO-land, leaving introvert self stranded in the peaceful sanctuary of JOMO bliss. 🎉🤯🤷‍♂️ Time to reschedule those plans and find the perfect balance between social butterfly mode and hermit crab mode! 🦋🦀 #IntrovertStruggles #ExtrovertDrama #FindingTheSweetSpot

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2331 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,493

Funny Quotes Topics

15,196

Funny Quotes Images

12,493

49 minutes ago

3,459

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Just shared via X:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Going viral on Reddit:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Spotted on X:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Trending via Facebook:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Reported on Snapchat:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

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