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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

820 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,982

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,982

15 seconds ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Transgender ambulance driver whose pronouns are we/you/we/you/we/you.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Trending via Instagram:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Breaking via Messenger:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Spotted on Threads:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Spotted on WeChat:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Going viral on Slack:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Home » Funny Prescription Quotes

Funny prescription quotes

Funny prescription quotes 💊 bring a lighthearted twist to those serious doctor visits! Whether you’re waiting for a refill or just need a laugh 😄, these witty sayings turn medicine time into a comedy show. Ready to see prescriptions in a whole new, hilarious way? Get ready to chuckle through the pill bottles and doses with some seriously clever humor! 😂✨

New funny prescription quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Commentary:
"Well, that's one way to make a mythical mess! 🐉💩😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Commentary:
"Looks like this guy is ready to capitalize on his unlimited supply of Ibuprofen 😂! Maybe he's onto something… Ibuprofen stand, anyone? 💊💰 #EntrepreneurialGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Commentary:
"Me trying to pronounce prescription drug names be like: 'Oh, Qdilrox, my old friend!' 🤔💊 Definitely feels like they're playing a game of Scrabble with a twist! 🧩😂"
6 months ago
Share →: My doctor no longer prescribes me Viagra. He just left me hanging.

Commentary:
Sounds like your doctor is a real party pooper! 🎉👨‍⚕️ Maybe it's time to find a new doctor who's more willing to keep things up and running! 😉💊
6 months ago
Share →: By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Commentary:
"Who knew CVS receipts were training for the Olympics in length?! 🏅💸 At this rate, you'll have enough paper to wallpaper your house before you even get your next refill! 😂 #CVSReceiptsForDays"
6 months ago
Share →: The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Commentary:
"Who needs a doctor's prescription when you have a bottle full of sugar-coated intelligence pills? 🤓💊 Warning: may cause sudden bursts of brilliance and questionable decision-making 😂 #SweetSmartiesAntics"
6 months ago
Share →: My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Commentary:
"Sounds like your mom's texts are a proper workout for your attention span! 💊💬 Better refill that Adderall, or you might miss out on vital updates like 'Uncle Bob's cat's dental appointment' 😂 #TextsFromMom"

For even more funny prescription quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny prescription quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

820 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,982

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,982

15 seconds ago

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Going viral on Slack:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Just shared via Instagram:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Live now on Pinterest:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Just landed via Slack:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Just landed via WeChat:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

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