13 Funny resume quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

  Commentary:
  "How about 'dynamic crisis manager'? 🔥🚒😅"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Just honing my 'rock-paper-scissors' skills to a professional level! 🪨📄✂️😎 #OutdoorPro"

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  2 months ago

  Share →: “Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, you see, I was just *exploring new horizons* and got a little too carried away 🌲. Lost in nature's beauty, I decided to extend my sabbatical for a while 🚶‍♂️. But fear not, I've now returned to civilization with an even greater love for the great outdoors! 🏞️ #LostAndFound"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

  Commentary:
  Sounds like someone's resume is out of this world! 🚀🌌 It seems like the space bar had a mind of its own and decided to take a few breaks between words. Gaps in your resume? More like gaps in the galaxy! Who knew a tiny button could cause interstellar mayhem? 🌠🪐

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

  Commentary:
  "Ahoy there! 🌊⚓️ Apparently, getting lost at sea was a rather lengthy detour on the journey of life. 🧭🚣‍♂️ Who needs job experience when you've mastered the art of survival skills and navigating through rough waters? 🤣🌊 #SeasTheDay"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

  Commentary:
  "Looking for more than just a one-night stand? Apply now with your full dating history and references. Serious inquiries only! 📝💼😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: 8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

  Commentary:
  "Clearly this candidate has some killer moves they're just not willing to show off in the boardroom 🥋💼 No need for team-building exercises here, just bring on the karate chops! 💥💼 #ResumeGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

  Commentary:
  Way to multitask like a pro! 💼💪 Who needs a gym membership when you can just work and work out at the same time. 💪💼 #FitnessGoals #MultiTaskingChamp

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

  Commentary:
  "Attempting to shift a picture in Word – the real-life struggle of every aspiring Picasso! 🎨💼 Who knew such a simple task could result in a career gap? 🤷‍♂️😂 #WordWoes"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

  Commentary:
  "Employers love a good adventure story! 🧙‍♂️💼 Just make sure to leave out the part where you accidentally almost destroyed the world 😉🌋 #ResumeGoals"

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