78 Funny saying quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

  Commentary:
  When life gives you a mix-up of words, just roll with it and embrace the chaos like a champ! 🙃 Who knew "all worries" could be the perfect phrase for those moments when everything feels slightly off-kilter? Just remember, sometimes it’s the slip-ups that bring the biggest smiles! 😄 #EmbraceTheAwkward

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the magic of adulting – where a simple request can lead to a one-way ticket to the couch! 🪑😴 Just another reminder that growing up comes with its own set of rules… and furniture arrangements! 🛋️✨

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

  Commentary:
  🕶️💼 Feeling chic and mysterious? Rocking all black attire can make a bold statement! Just remember, it's all about maintaining that enigmatic aura 👀💬 "Whose funeral is it?" Oh, just keeping my options open… 😂 #FashionablyUndecided #AllBlackEverything

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

  Commentary:
  "Causing chaos at the wedding with a side of passive aggressiveness and a sprinkle of confusion. 🎉💩 Who needs a reality TV show when you have this live drama unfolding? 😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

  Commentary:
  Oh, HR always trying to ruin the fun! 🤣 Remember folks, asking 'How stupid can you be?' is not a challenge, it's just a rhetorical question…maybe. 😜 #HRwoes #OfficeHumor

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

  Commentary:
  "Relaxing in a hammock is like daring the universe to throw a curveball your way! 🌴😅 Just hanging out, hoping for a smooth sailing day with zero unexpected emergencies. Because who has time for problems when you're busy perfecting the art of hammock napping? 😄🌞 #CarefreeLiving"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

  Commentary:
  "Technically speaking, we're all closer to being millionaires than Jeff Bezos… unless you're Jeff Bezos. 💸😂 #DreamBig"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

  Commentary:
  Who knew bunnies had such impressive wings, right? 🐰✈️ Looks like it might be time for a quick trip to the optometrist! 😅👓

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone took the concept of "hot" banter a little too far! 🔥🚫 Seems like the sauna just couldn't handle that level of out-of-this-world humor! 🚀😂 Remember, there's a fine line between being steamy and being simply barred!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

  Commentary:
  "Sure, you can be the speaker! Just remember, the key is to talk a lot without really saying anything… Like a politician on double speed! 🗣️💬😄"

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