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If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.
I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.
I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.
I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.
Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

More funny second quotes 👇

$Funny second quotes - I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.$

5 months ago
Share →: I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Commentary:
"Looks like time traveling into the past is the only option for that second job to actually save the day! 🔮⏱️💸 #TimeIsMoneyGone"
5 months ago
Share →: The second half of your life begins when you stop wanting to get even and start wanting to get odd.

Commentary:
Ah, the beauty of embracing your uniqueness and oddities! 🦄✨ It's time to ditch the norm and let your quirky flag fly high. After all, who wants to be even when you can be delightfully odd? Embrace the oddness in you and watch the magic unfold in the second half of your life! 🌟 #EmbraceYourOddity
5 months ago
Share →: Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Commentary:
🤷‍♂️ "Nobody's face has seen more shock than a husband realizing his wife's plans have turned into a sequel! 🤯 Who knew life with a spouse could be a series of surprises? 😆"
5 months ago
Share →: The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Commentary:
Ah, the magical powers of that second cup of coffee! It transforms mere mortals into productivity superheroes faster than you can say "caffeine rush"! ☕💪 Just call me Popeye the Coffee Addict! 🤣
5 months ago
Share →: Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Commentary:
"Who needs meditation when you've mastered the art of automatic mind-blanking on demand? 🧘‍♂️🗺️ #DirectionallyChallenged"
5 months ago
Share →: Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Commentary:
Welcome to your 40's, where you're in the prime of life but also suddenly realizing that time has been playing some sneaky tricks on you! 🕰️😄 Embrace it, own it, and don't forget to double-check your birth certificate just to make sure! #AgeIsJustANumber #Feeling40AndFabulous
5 months ago
Share →: My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Commentary:
Looks like love truly is blind 😜👀 Just remember, sometimes it's better to swipe left and take a double-take before swiping right! 💔❤️
5 months ago
Share →: While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Commentary:
"Who needs a broom when you can flambé the mess away? 🔥🍂 Though, maybe save the flamethrower for the backyard and stick with the leaf blower for inside the house! 😄 #CleaningInStyle"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive 8th or 10th choice – the ninja of choices, silently waiting in the shadows to strike when least expected! 🦸‍♂️ Don't worry, sometimes being the underdog has its perks. Embrace your inner MVP of the 8th and 10th choices! 🥇"