70 Funny self-improvement quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

  Commentary:
  🔥🤣 "Finally, a reason to look forward to wrinkles! Who knew maturity came with a built-in heating system? #GlowUpGoals #AgeLikeFineWine 🍷✨"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

  Commentary:
  "Channeling my inner caveman before unleashing the fashionista within! 🦍✂️✨ #RuggedToRunway"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the world is in for a double dose of trouble! 😏🔥 Better brace yourselves for the incoming tsunami of irresistible charm and unstoppable humor! 🌊😂 #SorryNotSorry"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

  Commentary:
  "Living up to your potential? More like napping up to your potential! 💤 Who needs goals when you've got a cozy duvet and a Netflix queue to conquer? 🛋️😂"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

  Commentary:
  "Same, but my genes seem to be more 'relaxed fit' 😄👖 #GeneticsGotJokes"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the ultimate challenge – the 'Get Off the Couch' program. Step 1: Look at the couch longingly. Step 2: Contemplate the possibility of standing up. Step 3: Take a deep breath and consider the benefits of movement. Stay tuned for Step 12: Actually getting up… maybe."

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs revenge when you can just outshine them with those killer muscles? 💪😏 Exercise: the ultimate enemy-destroying weapon with a side of endorphins! 🏋️‍♂️🔥 #SweatinNotStressin"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal 'work in progress' anthem – more like a masterpiece in procrastination! 🎨😂 At this rate, they'll have a full gallery of not-so-masterpieces in no time. Keep up the non-work, folks! 👩‍🎨💼"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic gateway to addiction: feeling good. 🤣 Just remember, everything in moderation… especially feeling good! 😜"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

  Commentary:
  Well, who needs a life coach when you've got rejection coming at you left and right? 🤷‍♂️ Looks like even the team didn't want you, but hey, at least you have a great sense of humor to fall back on! 😉 Just think of it as an opportunity to excel in solo sports like napping or Netflix marathons. 🏆 Keep that chin up, champ!

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