56 Funny self-improvement quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

  Commentary:
  "Off to the gym to sweat out my demons and get that exorcise! 💪😈 #FitnessGoals #DemonsBeGone"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the ultimate crash course in alpha-ness: mastering the art of assertiveness and dominance with just a few clicks and a sprinkle of buffering ⚔️🎥 Who needs real-life experience when you have YouTube tutorials, right?"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

  Commentary:
  Cheers to another year of perfecting the art of repeating history with an impressive level of enthusiasm! 🥂🎉 May our mistakes be legendary and our optimism unwavering as we embark on this thrilling journey of trial and error! 😄 #NewYearSameMistakes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

  Commentary:
  "Watch out world, we got a bookworm on the loose! 📚🐛 Who knew a tiny piece of plastic could instigate such a powerful transformation? Don't mess with someone who's armed with knowledge and overdue fines! 😄📖 #LibraryCardRevolution"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal struggle between ambition and the siren call of Netflix 😆🎉 Here's to a year of well-intentioned procrastination and perfectly timed productivity! Just remember, tomorrow is always a day away… #NewYearsResolution #ProcrastinationStation"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone's setting the bar too high for themselves in 2022! 🤣 Time to embrace that natural charisma and just roll with it. Who needs resolutions when you're naturally a jaw-dropper, right? 😉

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

  Commentary:
  "Staring your procrastination right in the eye like 🙈… 'Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.' 🤷‍♂️💁‍♀️ #ProcrastinationGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

  Commentary:
  "Embrace your inner wisdom, for age might just make you less of a doofus 🤓👴🤪 #GrownAndDumber"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

  Commentary:
  "Apparently, the influencer's powers only work on the weak-willed 😉. If you're not feeling influenced, perhaps it's time for a self-improvement seminar with the mirror 🪞! Remember, a little self-reflection never hurt anybody… well, except for vampire influencers 🧛‍♂️! #InfluencerWoes"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

  Commentary:
  🎉🥳 "I'm done with making resolutions! It's about time the years step up their game and start being better, don't you think? 😆 Let's see some improvement, 2022! #NewYearSameMe" 🙌

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