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48 Funny self-improvement quotes

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

3 months ago

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

3 months ago

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

3 months ago

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

3 months ago

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

3 months ago

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

3 months ago

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

3 months ago

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

3 months ago