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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,734

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Trending via YouTube:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Spotted on Instagram:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I thought I had more straws. Sorry, turns out that was the last one.

Just shared via Pinterest:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Breaking via Instagram:

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Spotted on Facebook:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Just shared via Twitch:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

14 Funny sheet quotes

Funny sheet quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your bedroom vibes 😄🛏️! Whether you’re looking to brighten up laundry day or just want a cheeky twist on bedtime, these witty sayings will have you laughing all night long 😂✨. Get ready to transform your sheets from plain to playful with some clever and lighthearted fun! 🎉💤

New funny sheet quotes 👇

For even more funny sheet quotes, hit next 👇

All funny sheet quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Discord this month:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

56 shares on Slack this month:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

37 shares on X this month:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

87 shares on Messenger this month:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,701

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Selfish people are my favorite because you never have to guess their motives.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

Trending via Pinterest:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Live now on Threads:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

This summer went by so fast, I didn’t even get a chance to lose any weight.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Making waves on TikTok:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

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