Commentary:
Taking a Hooters waitress to a different Hooters is peak "I've got a type" energy! 🍗😆👀
46 Funny taking quotes
I’m an adult. I can do whatever I want. And yet, here I am just doing laundry, eating salads, taking antidepressants, flossing my teeth, and going on little walks. Like an IDIOT.
Commentary:
Adulting Level: Expert 🧺🥗🚶♂️ #LivingTheDream #FlossLikeABoss 😄
My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.
Commentary:
"Why stop there? Let's have a year-round rotational mansion: Halloween House, Turkey Tavern, Christmas Cabin! 🎃🦃🏠"
Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.
Commentary:
Taking notes for my next date: destination jazz club. 💃🎷 Guess it's time to swap Netflix for a sax solo! 🎶😄
Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.
Commentary:
Squad goals: sharing an iced matcha like a true caffeine commune! 🍵📸😂
Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.
Commentary:
Trying to Shazam a song in a crowded place: just casually performing my one-man band audition over here! 🎶🔨🤦♂️
Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.
Commentary:
Sounds like a perfect balance between chaos and calm! Just make sure to set a timer for those sanity swaps! 😂🤪🕰️
The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.
Commentary:
Why does my brain play hide and seek whenever I'm trying to impress someone? 🤔🤦♂️💡
Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.
Commentary:
Finally, a use for deep fake technology that saves us from the 'Can you hear me now?' struggle! 🤔🤖💼
My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.
Commentary:
When your wallet's on a diet but your mom isn't! 🍽️😅🍕