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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Young witches boil every cauldron on high.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Having an exorcism, but only because the demon requested it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,471

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Trending via Discord:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Making waves on WeChat:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Just shared via Reddit:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Going viral on YouTube:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Trending via Instagram:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

17 Funny theory quotes

Funny theory quotes bring a hilarious twist to complex ideas 🤓✨, turning deep thoughts into giggles and aha moments 😂💡. Whether you’re a science buff or just love clever wordplay, these witty gems keep curiosity alive while tickling your funny bone 🤪📚. Get ready to laugh and think at the same time—because who said theories can’t be fun? 🎉🧠

New funny theory quotes 👇

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

17 hours ago

bed, breakfast, cute, food, gross, humor, morning, practice, theory
My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

2 months ago

conspiracy, conspiracy theory, everything, favorite, going, hope, humor, ok, optimism, reassurance, theory
I support Bluesky in theory, but in practice, it’s like a JRPG with no bad guys.

2 months ago

bad, bad guy, bluesky, comparison, gaming, guy, guys, humor, i, JRPG, media, practice, social, social media, support, theory
“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

2 months ago

capitalism, communism, even, good, humor, ideology, political, political ideology, practice, satire, sound, sounds, theory, work
My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

2 months ago

better, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, favorite, humor, irony, optimism, sarcasm, theory, things
Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

2 months ago

diva, divisibility, divisible, humor, insult, joke, math, math joke, number, number theory, numbers, okay, only, playful, playful insult, prime, prime number, theory, yourself
Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

2 months ago

alternative, alternative theory, conspiracy, Earth, flat, flat earth, hollow, hollow earth, humor, joke, satire, theory, too, where
No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

2 months ago

absurdity, color, filled, fire, fire hydrant, humor, hydrant, joke, ketchup, mustard, red, theory, yellow
Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

2 months ago

absurdity, around, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, floating, give, high, humor, intelligence, IQ, low, me, satire, theory, too
A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

2 months ago

app, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, dating, dating app, funny idea, humor, idea, interests, match, matchmaker, online, online dating, people, relationship, theory

For even more funny theory quotes, hit next 👇

All funny theory quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on YouTube this month:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

46 shares on X this month:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,706

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Trending via WeChat:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Just landed via Slack:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Shared recently on WeChat:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Freshly posted on Threads:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

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