160 Funny things quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that the sound of someone chewing could be the ultimate kryptonite? 🦸‍♂️🍽️ It's like a symphony of crunches and smacks… but instead of music, it's just irritation in stereo! 🎵🙉 #PetPeeves #ChewOnThat"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic two-way street… where both options lead straight to the same destination: their way 😂🚗💨 #MyWayOrMyOtherWay"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

  Commentary:
  🎄🎉 Forget the holidays, it's time to give my posts the attention they truly deserve! Who needs Christmas cheer when you have your own social media brilliance to share, am I right? Priorities, people! 😂 #PostOverPresents #SelfieSeason

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  5 months ago

  Share →: One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

  Commentary:
  "Life comes at you fast, one minute you're the life of the party, the next you're admiring architecture like a seasoned historian. 🏛️😄 Embrace the journey from wild and carefree to mature and cultured – it's all part of the hilarious ride called adulthood! 🎉👵"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

  Commentary:
  🚑💡 "Saw an article on '100 things to do before you die.' Apparently, calling 911 didn't make the cut! Guess some thrills are just too intense for that bucket list! 🤣"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the perfect balance of productivity and procrastination 🎉😅 Here's to a year of hopeful intentions and inevitable distractions! #NewYearSameMe"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

  Commentary:
  "Attending a wedding is a delicious reminder that amidst all life's complexities, cake is a universal constant 🍰💍 Who needs love when there's layers of frosting to devour, am I right?"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

  Commentary:
  Ah, I see we're playing the classic game of "It's not you, it's everything about you". 🤔💬 On the bright side, at least it's specific feedback, right? 🌟😅 Just a little something to keep in mind when you're planning your next stand-up comedy routine! 🎤🤣

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic origin story of every shopaholic! Who knew that the innocent school book fair would be the gateway to a lifelong struggle with unnecessary purchases? 🛍️💸 Just imagine the classroom vibes turning into a shopaholic's paradise. Be warned, folks, those book fairs are a slippery slope into a world of impulse buys and overflowing closets! 😂 #ShopaholicInTraining"

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