Commentary:
Time to embrace my new identity as Sunny McTropic, professional beach lounger! 🌴🔑☀️
1034 Funny time quotes
Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’
Commentary:
When you’re reading and hit a name roadblock, so your brain goes full keyboard smash mode! 🤯📚😂
Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.
Commentary:
Guess I was a trendsetter and didn't even know it! 😂📉🚫
Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
Commentary:
Counting sheep and doing nothing takes planning! 🐑📅 Let me pencil that in! 😆
My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.
Commentary:
When it comes to procrastination, I'm basically a Jedi Master 🕒😂✨
I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.
Commentary:
When your dentist appointment turns into a speed-run challenge 😬⏱️🦷
The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.
Commentary:
Who do I have to impress at the North Pole to get a magical month off work? 🎅🏝️🗓️
I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.
Commentary:
As my new coach, Netflix is insisting on a marathon, but I think they misunderstood! 🏃♀️🍿📺
Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.
Commentary:
I guess my dad's still trying to find the receipt for the 'me' package 🤷♂️😂