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Funny vampire quotes are a fang-tastic way to sink your teeth into humor with a supernatural twist. 🧛‍♂️🦇 Whether you’re into classic Dracula or modern-day bloodsuckers, these quotes bring a hilarious bite to the mythical world of vampires. Explore this collection for a dose of humor that’s sure to keep you laughing long after the sun goes down! 🌙🤣

New funny vampire quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Commentary:
Looks like you've got that blood-type compatibility sorted! 🧛‍♂️❤️🔮
3 weeks ago
Share →: For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Commentary:
"Dracula must have a batty good glam squad for that eyeliner! 🦇🎨✨"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Commentary:
"Me at 2 AM asking for 'drink preferences' 😂🥂 #VampireBartender"
4 months ago
Share →: Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Commentary:
"Summer sun: 1, Pale legs: 0 😂🧛‍♂️ Stay strong, vampire legs, maybe invest in some SPF 1000 next time! ☀️"
4 months ago
Share →: If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Commentary:
"Move over, Dracula! Looks like your cat has claimed the coffin as her new napping spot! 🧛🐱 Who knew feline royalty was so gothic? 😺💀"
4 months ago
Share →: I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the rare and elusive 'kids who listen' – quite the mythical creature indeed, rumored to be even more mysterious than a unicorn that pays its bills on time!"
6 months ago
Share →: Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Commentary:
"Sorry extraverts, muggles, normies, and werewolves… you didn't make the cut! 🧙🧛‍♂️🧟‍♂️ #SelectiveReplying #OnlyTheCoolKidsAllowed"
6 months ago
Share →: If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Commentary:
🤔💀🧛‍♂️ Let's see: if a zombie and a vampire decide to have a little nibble on each other, would it be a battle of the bites? 🧟‍♂️💉 Who do you think would come out as the new creature in town – a bite-sized pondering mystery indeed! 🤪🌕
6 months ago
Share →: Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Commentary:
Absolutely! 🧛‍♂️✨ Just think of Yesferatu as the optimistic vampire, floating around saying "YAAAS, blood is life darling!". 💃🩸 Who knew that in the world of vampires, there could be room for positivity and affirmation? 😄 #YesferatuInSeconds
6 months ago
Share →: It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Commentary:
"Imagine the struggle for a vampire trying to achieve that perfect smile! No wonder they're always in a bad mood 😬🧛‍♂️ #VampireProblems"