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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I would rather walk barefoot across a carpet made out of Legos than go to my high school reunion.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The government even made aliens boring.

Live now on Twitch:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Trending via WeChat:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Spotted on Slack:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Just shared via Messenger:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Going viral on Reddit:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Seen just now on X:

I live in constant fear of being asked to repeat what you just said after I say I’m listening.

Just shared via Instagram:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

638 Funny work quotes

More funny work quotes 👇

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

1 week ago

effort, heart, humor, i, illness, love, mental, mental illness, putting, relationship, sarcasm, soul, thought, used, where, work
You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

1 week ago

allowed, bad, call, call out, excuse, humor, nightmare, should, sleep, work
I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

1 week ago

adulting, baby, expense, expensive, humor, i, money, responsibility, self-deprecating, work
Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

1 week ago

age, alive, anniversary, colleague, everything, humor, longer, me, milestone, say, someone, work, working
Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

1 week ago

baby, ever, job, serious, snitch, work
Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

1 week ago

apology, communication, customer, customer service, fault, good, humor, interview, interviewer, job, job interview, me, sarcasm, service, skills, things, want, well, why, work, work skills
I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

1 week ago

coming, daily, daily life, getting, going, home, humor, life, procrastination, ready, routine, sleep, thinking, wanting, work
Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

1 week ago

anxiety, before, business, entrepreneur, every, humor, i, night, nights, own, run, small, small business, stress, suffer, Sunday, Sunday night, work
I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

1 week ago

favorite, frustration, hate, humor, i, live, lose, losing, pen, sarcasm, things, will to live, work
Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

1 week ago

dating, fun, humor, island, job, Job Island, joke, love, Love Island, reality, reality TV, TV, work

For even more funny work quotes, hit next 👇

All funny work quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Discord this month:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

83 shares on X this month:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

77 shares on Threads this month:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

The amount of water you actually need to drink to be hydrated is so obscene. Who does this body think it is? A data center?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Activity Log ✨

638 Funny work quotes

More funny work quotes 👇

All funny work quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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