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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

There are too many neglected emojis.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,583

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Just landed via Twitch:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Shared recently on Discord:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Spotted on Discord:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Just shared via Messenger:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Witty quote about simple happiness, highlighting sunshine and warmth with a playful vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
I'm basically a solar-powered burrito: extra sunshine in summer, wrapped snug in winter! ☀️🌯❄️

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Instagram this month:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

13 shares on X this month:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Making waves on X:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Breaking via Instagram:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Spotted on Messenger:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Making waves on Discord:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Trending via TikTok:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

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