Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Sometimes I think I should talk to my colleagues more often. Until I talk to my colleagues.

Spreading quickly via X:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Spotted on X:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Live now on WeChat:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Going viral on Instagram:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Just landed via Slack:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

More funny quotes 👇

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

0

7 days ago

elder, game, gaming, generation, nostalgia, reverence, video, video game, Wii, Zoomer
I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

0

7 days ago

activity, communication, conversation, enjoy, enjoyment, getting, having, humor, i, listening, passive, passive activity, podcast
Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

0

7 days ago

access, bad, bad music, driver, drivers, ever, humor, joke, music, music taste, ride, ride share, secret, service, share, streaming, streaming service, taste, Uber, Uber driver, worst
I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

0

7 days ago

90, American, Americans, conversion, day, dramatic, dramatics, found, humor, i, just, kilogram, measurement, pound, weight
(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

0

7 days ago

exercise, FitBit, fitness, getting, getting lost, got, humor, labyrinth, lost, nice, steps, walking
Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

0

7 days ago

boss, boss-in-law, humor, joke, relationship, wife, wordplay, workplace
Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

0

7 days ago

always, anywhere, around, driving, guys, humor, joke, mad, Mad Max, max, post-apocalyptic, travel, why
Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

0

7 days ago

game, games, getting, girlfriend, humor, life, once, pandemic, quitting, real, relationship, social, social life, video, video game
I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

0

7 days ago

clothing, fashion, getting, help, honesty, humor, i, jean, jeans, just, lie, relationship, sex, skinny, skinny jean, struggle
The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

0

7 days ago

actually, being, concept, contradiction, discomfort, disgusting, feeling, good, hair, hot, hot water, hygiene, irony, shower, showers, skin, water

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Telegram this month:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

71 shares on X this month:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

My problem areas are my upper arms and earth.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

35 shares on TikTok this month:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Shared recently on Messenger:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Going bananas on Slack:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Live now on Reddit:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Trending via Facebook:

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Going bananas on Threads:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨