Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,933

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Just landed via X:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Freshly posted on X:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Going viral on X:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Just shared via Slack:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

More funny quotes 👇

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

0

5 months ago

casualwear, comfort, every, exist, fashion, house, humor, i, leave, leaving, sweatpant, sweatpants, time, why
Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

0

5 months ago

dating, finding, funny story, guy, humor, i, interaction, lived, match, neighbor, neighborhood, once, outside, scream, social, social interaction, story, told
All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

0

5 months ago

bra, bras, clothing, fashion, humor, need, problem, recall, shopping, strapless, strapless bra, taken, technology
One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

0

5 months ago

absence, addiction, back, came, day, health, humor, loss, mental, mental health, mind, never, sanity, smoke
Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

0

5 months ago

alone, bed, different, discomfort, feels, i, know, last, means, myself, neck, neck pain, night, pain, sleep, spot, weird
Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

0

5 months ago

black, black mold, cute, humor, life, mold, relationship, relationship status, self-deprecation, shower, single, single life, status
Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

0

5 months ago

ago, comeback, coming, got, humor, just, me, never, patience, payback, persistence, relax, revenge, someone, threat, wronged
Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

0

5 months ago

baby, baby on board, behind, board, car, car sticker, child, dealing, driver, drivers, humor, know, parenting, putting, right, road, road safety, safety, sticker, traffic, vehicle, wheel
I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

0

5 months ago

application, employment, exaggerated, exaggeration, humor, i, job, job application, living, motivation, said, wanted, work
I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

0

5 months ago

addiction, humor, i, pattern, recognition

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Facebook this month:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

74 shares on X this month:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Spotted on WeChat:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Just shared via WeChat:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Making waves on WeChat:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Seen just now on YouTube:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Going viral on X:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Making waves on TikTok:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨