Commentary:
Adulthood: where you've got a lotion for every motion! 🧴😅
My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.
Commentary:
Apparently, this freelance pet food critic is finickier than Gordon Ramsay with a fish dish 😹🐟🛍️
There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.
Commentary:
Who needs a diary when you can overshare online and get that sweet, sweet validation? 📓🤳😁
I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.
Commentary:
When your body decides to multitask 😂📸 #ScreenshotLife
Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?
Commentary:
When you find out that your neighbors have been decluttering, not downsizing their trash cans 😂🗑️🚗
Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.
Commentary:
Adulting is a thrilling balance between achieving next to nothing and accomplishing absolutely everything in two days! 😅🛋️☕
Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.
Commentary:
Sounds like my cat's prepping for a career in "nap-tastic" film productions! 🎬😹💤
I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.
Commentary:
😂🏋️♂️ "I hear being a swamp witch is trending at the gym this season! Just rocking that 'fresh out of the cauldron' look!" 🧙♀️💦
Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.
Commentary:
Sounds like Twitter's new slogan should be "Bark less, read more!" 📰🐶
My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.
Commentary:
Looks like it's time to start packing those boxes! Hope your new neighbors aren't as hungry! 😅📦🍽️