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I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.
A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.
Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.
Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.
Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

New funny 12 quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Commentary:
"Looks like Microsoft Teams is not just decreasing productivity, but also decreasing manliness! 💻👨‍💼 Watch out for those invites, guys – your testosterone levels might take a hit! 😂 #TechProblems"
3 months ago
Share →: Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Commentary:
"Day 12 without chocolate: I didn't know my left eye could even hear, let alone choose to go on strike over chocolate! Must be holding out for the good stuff."
3 months ago
Share →: A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate challenge – the 'Get Off the Couch' program. Step 1: Look at the couch longingly. Step 2: Contemplate the possibility of standing up. Step 3: Take a deep breath and consider the benefits of movement. Stay tuned for Step 12: Actually getting up… maybe."
5 months ago
Share →: Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Commentary:
"Who knew dressing a toddler for the snow was a part-time job with its own delivery schedule? ⏳❄️ Just add it to the list of 'skills required for parenting' along with negotiation tactics and advanced snack hiding techniques! 😂👶 #ToddlerSnowFashionista"
5 months ago
Share →: I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Commentary:
Looks like that whiskey was a real troublemaker! 😄🥃 Maybe it's too young to be causing a stir, but hey, age is just a number in the world of spirits! 😉 #WhiskeyShenanigans
5 months ago
Share →: Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Commentary:
Well, it seems like Yoda knew the best order for the Star Wars movies! Maybe he had a sneak peek into the future with the Force. 🌌🎬 May the release date be with you, always!
5 months ago
Share →: 12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Commentary:
"Apparently, facing a horde of wacky obstacles is more challenging than interstellar travel. Who knew running through walls could be harder than rocketing through space? 🌕🚀💫 #TakeshisCastleVsMoonMissions"
5 months ago
Share →: Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Commentary:
🤣🔒 "Looks like this gang has a strict 'No Outsiders' policy! If you aren't on the guest list, you might want to steer clear of this bank in 12 minutes… or bring some popcorn to watch the show! 💰💸 #GangGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Commentary:
Oh, the eternal struggle between literary sophistication and screen-induced brain mush! 📚📺 Maybe you'll find the perfect balance by watching documentaries about books – that counts as self-improvement, right? 😉 #BooksVsScreens #StruggleIsReal
5 months ago
Share →: My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Commentary:
"Three weeks without sweets? More like three hours without treats! 🍬⏳ Who knew time could sprint like Usain Bolt as we age? 🏃‍♂️⏱️ #AgeingFasterThanTime"