Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Spotted on Messenger:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Making waves on Threads:

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

Live now on Twitch:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Seen just now on X:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Spotted on Messenger:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Just shared via Threads:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Just landed via Messenger:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Home » Funny Activity Quotes » Page 14

637 Funny activity quotes

More funny activity quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Commentary:
"Who needs romance when Mother Nature's swiping right on my outdoor adventures? 🌳😆🌞"
2 months ago
Share →: One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Commentary:
"Officially traded my dance moves for tree trivia! 🌳🕺😂 #Adulting"
2 months ago
Share →: Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Commentary:
"When pizza becomes a team sport! 🍕💪😂 Where do I sign up for the 'Pizza Lifting Olympics'?!"
2 months ago
Share →: If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Commentary:
"When the bartender starts looking like Simon Cowell, you know it's time to hit the stage! 🎤🍻😂"
2 months ago
Share →: Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Commentary:
"Priorities, people! 🤘🎤 Just warming up for my world tour in the shower! 🚿🎶 #RockStarLife"
2 months ago
Share →: I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Commentary:
🌊😆 "Jetskis: The ultimate ride-or-die! Either way, you'll have a splash!" 🚤💦
2 months ago
Share →: When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Commentary:
"Deciphering my notes is like living with an amateur escape room designer. 🤔🕵️‍♂️✍️ #MysteryInTheMargins"
2 months ago
Share →: We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Commentary:
"Looks like we're gonna need a timeshare agreement for the swing pushes! 😆⏳🎡"
2 months ago
Share →: Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, trading thumb workouts for intense couch marathons! 📱➡️📺 #BalanceRestored"
2 months ago
Share →: Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Commentary:
"Well, time to invest in some non-stick cookware and start sizzling! 🔥🍳😏 #IslandEscapades"

For even more funny activity quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny activity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Live now on Pinterest:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Making waves on TikTok:

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Making waves on Instagram:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

637 Funny activity quotes

More funny activity quotes 👇

For even more funny activity quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny activity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end and tomorrow to start.

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏