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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Trending via Threads:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Just shared via X:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

Trending via Twitch:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Spotted on Instagram:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

154 Funny adult quotes

More funny adult quotes 👇

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

1 week ago

adult, comparison, humor, self-deprecating, Temu, version, well-functioning
Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

1 week ago

absolutely, adult, adult life hack, advice, anyone, day, day off, hack, humor, know, life, real, secret, social, social life, tell
Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

1 week ago

adult, adulthood, being, deserve, hard, humor, i, self-expression, sticker, stickers, tattoo
My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

1 week ago

adult, adult hack, again, away, carefully, favourite, forgetfulness, hack, humor, i, important, important thing, life, life skill, lose, never, organization, put, skill, something, thing
Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

1 week ago

40s, adult, adult life, aging, big, humor, life, night, plans, tonight, welcome
Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

1 week ago

40s, adult, adult life, aging, hangover, humor, hungover, just, life, Tuesday, welcome
They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

1 week ago

adult, age, comedy, every, groan, grown up, humor, humor quote, time
One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

1 week ago

adult, adulthood, being, box, cardboard, cardboard box, clutter, debate, decision making, everyday, everyday struggle, good, humor, humor about adulthood, much, over, procrastination, self-debate, storage, struggle, thing, time, yourself
If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

1 week ago

adult, adult life, adulting, humor, ID, joke, life, life joke, policy, responsibility, return, return policy, sarcasm
No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

1 week ago

adult, adult life, adulthood, adulthood challenges, authentication, challenges, humor, life, me, much, multi-factor, multi-factor authentication, relatable, technology, told

For even more funny adult quotes, hit next 👇

All funny adult quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

15 shares on X this month:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

97 shares on Slack this month:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

11 shares on Threads this month:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Just googled “insanity” over and over but was expecting different results.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Going viral on Twitch:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Spotted on Reddit:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Just landed via Threads:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Activity Log ✨

154 Funny adult quotes

More funny adult quotes 👇

All funny adult quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨