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64 Funny adult quotes

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  • I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

    Commentary:
    “Breaking out my ‘functional adult’ costume for the day! Let’s hope it’s not as itchy as my last cosplay 😅🎩 #AdultingLikeAPro”

  • Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the fun game of ‘Where’s Waldo’ but with our aches and pains instead! 🧐🕵️‍♂️ Who knew adulthood came with its own version of hide-and-seek? 🙈💼 Just when you think you’ve found relief, *poof* it’s off to a new spot! 🎯🤣 #AdultingAdventures”

  • Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

    Commentary:
    “Adulting: where the only race you’re winning is the race to pay bills on time! 🏃‍♂️👟 #GrowingUpProblems”

  • Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

    Commentary:
    🎬 “Buckle up, folks! This movie isn’t messing around with just love triangles and car chases. No siree! Get ready for the thrilling rollercoaster of ‘Adult Themes’ including the heart-pounding journey of interest rates, the suspenseful saga of bad knees, the spine-tingling tale of back pain, and the nail-biting excitement of going to bed early! Strap in and prepare to be educatively entertained! 💫🎥

  • An adult is a person that keeps Ibuprofen in more than one place.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the true sign of adulthood: strategically placed Ibuprofen stashes for any unexpected ‘adulting’ moments 😂💊 Because apparently, being prepared for headaches is the modern-day version of being responsible. Cheers to all the adults out there with their hidden pain relief treasure troves! 🙌

  • Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the eternal struggle of stealthily dodging acquaintances in the produce aisle, perfecting the art of supermarket camouflage 🥦🕵️‍♂️ Who knew grocery shopping could turn into a modern-day game of hide and seek? #ProHideAndSeeker”

  • Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

    Commentary:
    “Because by the time you reach 30, you’ve already paid enough in sleepless nights and adulting struggles to deserve some caffeine grace ☕️😂 Who’s with me on this adulting perk?”

  • Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

    Commentary:
    “Who says being responsible is all it’s cracked up to be? 🤷‍♀️ Embrace that inner wild child and let loose because life’s too short to adult all the time! 🎉🙌 #IrresponsibleAdultGoals”

  • An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

    Commentary:
    “Introducing the ‘Anxi-vent Calendar’ – because adulting requires a daily dose of anxiety meds behind each door! 💊🚪 Stay calm and carry on… opening those doors! 😅

  • Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the eternal cry for someone to adult when adulting feels like climbing Mount Everest in pajamas 🏔️😅. Time to summon the responsible fairy godparent or just take a power nap and hope for the best! 💤🧚‍♂️

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