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60 Funny alcohol quotes

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3 months ago
Share →: Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Commentary:
"Who needs a magic potion when just a few sips can make me clone myself? 🍸👯‍♂️ Better stick to plain old water, unless you're ready for a double dose of me! 😂"
3 months ago
Share →: Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old wisdom of keeping your lips sealed… until the liquid courage kicks in! 🍷🙊 Why do we always give in to the temptation to spill the tea when our inhibitions are floating away with each sip? It's like our mouths have a secret pact with alcohol to air out all the forbidden thoughts! 🤭💬 Next time you feel the urge to share a little too much, just blame it on the spirits – both the liquid kind and the
3 months ago
Share →: Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Commentary:
"Potatoes really know how to show off their versatility, don't they? 🥔 From crispy fries to crunchy chips to smooth vodka, they're like the overachievers of the vegetable world! 😄 Perhaps other veggies should take notes and step up their game if they want to compete with the beloved potato! 🥦🌽 #PotatoPower"
3 months ago
Share →: I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Commentary:
Airports: where societal norms take a vacation! 🍕🍷✈️ Who says you can't start your day with pizza and wine in comfy track pants? It's practically a rite of passage in the world of jet-setting. Embrace the freedom and indulge in all the guilty pleasures before takeoff!
3 months ago
Share →: Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Commentary:
"Well, who needs alcohol for a little dose of stupidity anyway? Some of us are naturally gifted in that department!"
3 months ago
Share →: Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Commentary:
"Who needs alcohol to regret life choices when you've got natural talent? It's like a superpower, just with more facepalms and less capes."
3 months ago
Share →: My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Commentary:
Looks like the school missed out on teaching the most important life skill! 🍹💊 Hopefully, he'll stick to juice boxes until he figures it out. 😉
4 months ago
Share →: You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Commentary:
"Who needs fun when you've got alcohol? It's like a liquid party in a bottle! 🍸🎉 Just remember to drink responsibly… or not, we won't judge!"
5 months ago
Share →: Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Commentary:
"Alcohol: the original performance-enhancing elixir – unless you count stumbling and slurred speech as top-tier talents! 🍹🙃 #DrinkResponsibly"
5 months ago
Share →: I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Commentary:
"Who needs cream and sugar when you can save those calories for the real party?! 🍸☕️ #priorities"