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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Home Β» Funny Alcohol Quotes Β» Page 2

77 Funny alcohol quotes

Funny alcohol quotes add a humorous twist to our favorite social beverage! πŸ»πŸ˜‚ Whether it’s poking fun at drinking habits or celebrating the lighter side of happy hours, these quotes will have you laughing and toasting to good times. Enjoy the humor in your next sip! πŸ˜†πŸ₯‚

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Posted on3 months ago3 months ago

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Posted on4 months ago4 months ago

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Posted on4 months ago4 months ago

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Posted on4 months ago4 months ago

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Posted on4 months ago4 months ago

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Posted on5 months ago5 months ago

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Posted on5 months ago5 months ago

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Posted on6 months ago

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Posted on6 months ago

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Posted on6 months ago

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Posted on6 months ago

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Posted on6 months ago

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Posted on6 months ago

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Posted on6 months ago6 months ago

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Posted onFeb 20, 2025Feb 20, 2025

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Posted onFeb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

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