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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe there was a time in my life when someone had to make me take a nap.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,834

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Seen just now on Twitch:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Trending via X:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Just landed via YouTube:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Just landed via YouTube:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

No more learning experiences, please, God. I am smart enough.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

15 Funny America quotes

Funny America quotes offer a humorous look at the quirks and charm of the land of the free! 🇺🇸😂 From witty remarks about American culture to playful observations on the country’s unique traits, these quotes capture the lighter side of life in the USA. Enjoy a laugh and celebrate the fun aspects of America! 😄🍔

New funny America quotes 👇

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

0

4 weeks ago

America, bacon, food, humor, offended, offense, patriotism, states, united, United States
Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

0

1 month ago

8, America, being, capitalism, coffee, consumerism, contradiction, failed, irony, kid, media, only, oppression, phone, post, shoe, social, social media, wealth, wear
America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

0

2 months ago

America, anything, confusion, entertainment, happen, humor, just, know, plot, satire, show, storyline, television, too, TV, TV Show, writer, writers
I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

0

2 months ago

am, America, depression, economy, enter, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, relate, too
Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

0

2 months ago

America, bus, critique, film, film critique, Forrest Gump, gump, haunting, haunting film, humor, irony, observation, wait
In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

0

2 months ago

America, culture, france, humor, marijuana, oui, wordplay
No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

0

2 months ago

America, focus, humor, needs, next, president, relationship, self-care, single, term
It is a shame that nothing is built in America anymore. I just bought a TV that said: “Built in Antenna”. I don’t even know where that is.

0

2 months ago

America, antenna, built, confusion, even, humor, i, irony, just, know, nothing, shame, technology, TV, where
Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

0

2 months ago

America, captain, Captain America, culture, drug, drugs, enhancing, everyone, humor, i, irony, just, love, me, need, performance, performance enhancing drug, pop, pop culture, self-improvement, superhero, take
Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

0

2 months ago

America, believe, celebrate, celebration, day, hit, holiday, humor, independence, Independence Day, irony, movie, still

For even more funny America quotes, hit next 👇

All funny America quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

91 shares on Threads this month:

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

30 shares on Instagram this month:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

44 shares on X this month:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

83 shares on X this month:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My anxiety is chronic, but my overthinking is iconic.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

13 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,927

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Spotted on Telegram:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Trending via Facebook:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’ve been closer to death than a stable relationship.

Just shared via Facebook:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Maybe I died of Covid in 2020, and this is hell.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Just landed via Slack:

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

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