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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,746

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Going viral on Slack:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Making waves on Facebook:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Just landed via X:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

17 Funny bad decision quotes

Funny bad decision quotes 😂 are the perfect way to laugh at those moments when things didn’t go quite as planned 🤦‍♂️💥 Whether it’s choosing midnight snacks over sleep or sending that risky text 📱💬, these witty lines turn our oopsies into pure comedy gold 🎉🤣 Ready to embrace your inner goofball and celebrate those hilariously wrong choices? Let’s dive in and giggle at life’s funniest blunders!

New funny bad decision quotes 👇

For even more funny bad decision quotes, hit next 👇

All funny bad decision quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on X this month:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

17 shares on Threads this month:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,844

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

It’s strange being the same age as old people.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Shared recently on Instagram:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Going viral on Reddit:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Shared recently on X:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Going viral on Discord:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Trending via X:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Trending via Telegram:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

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