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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Shared recently on X:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Going viral on Threads:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

52 Funny choices quotes

More funny choices quotes 👇

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

2 weeks ago

choices, food, fridge, heart, humor, hunger, i, journey, love, me
Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

2 weeks ago

choices, consequences, drain, flow, humor, just, life, spiral
Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

2 weeks ago

advice, choices, exactly, horrible, humor, irony, life, motivation, perspective, self-reflection, should, where, worry
Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

2 weeks ago

able, adulthood, being, breakfast, choices, cooky, doing, eat, eating, humor, irony, responsibility
Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

2 weeks ago

betraying, choices, crisis, destroying, existential, existential crisis, humor, life, life choices, nothing, self, twenty, yourself, youth
As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

2 weeks ago

actually, adult, adult humor, bermuda, Bermuda Triangle, childhood, childhood fear, choices, crisis, disappearing, existential, existential crisis, fear, forever, humor, i, kid, life, life choices, random, random thoughts, thoughts, triangle, wondering
If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

2 weeks ago

choice, choices, humor, irony, life, life choice, media, posts, ridiculous, self-deprecation, should, social, social media, think
I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

2 weeks ago

bad, bad choice, being, choice, choices, crisis, existential, existential crisis, hell, humor, infinite, infinite loop, irony, just, life, life choice, loop, real, real hell, self-doubt, stuck, think
The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

2 weeks ago

advice, career, career advice, choices, closer, decision, every, having, humor, i, job, life, life choices, LinkedIn, motivation, moves, only, professional, professional life, work
Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

2 weeks ago

adventure, anticipation, brand, choice, choices, excited, excitement, full, fun, humor, life, life choice, new, new year, questionable, questionable choice, Resolutions, super, year

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All funny choices quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Just shared via Threads:

Before I agree to the new year, I wanna read the terms and conditions.

Going bananas on Messenger:

My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.

Just landed via Reddit:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Making waves on WeChat:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Going bananas on Slack:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Trending via Telegram:

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

Activity Log ✨

52 Funny choices quotes

More funny choices quotes 👇

All funny choices quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨