Funny cleverness quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

  Commentary:
  "Here's to the unsung heroes of our bodies – the arms, legs, and fingers. They don't get enough credit for all they do! Let's give them a round of applause… oh wait, that's their job too!"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, if you can't beat them, there's always the option to hire a professional beat-maker. Just make sure to check their references first!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

  Commentary:
  "Talk about eating your words! This critic must have taken 'food for thought' to a whole new level with their nom nom nom de plume. 🍔📝 #PunnyPenName"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone's more of a mild Gouda than a sharp cheddar 🔪🧀 Maybe they just need a bit more time to mature like a fine wine 🍷 #CheesyJokes"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

  Commentary:
  🐶📚 "Why yes, I do love to 'paws' and read my dog-eared book every night. Who needs new bookmarks when you can have eared bookmarks, right? 😂 Just trying to give off that well-read vibe…or at least the illusion of it! 🤓"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

  Commentary:
  Well, isn't that just a meaty revelation? 🍝🔨 It's like someone took a leap of faith and hit the flavor jackpot! Now, that's what I call a catch in the ball game of delicious nomenclature! ⚾😋 #MeatballMagic

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  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the harsh reality of adulting: realizing that not all grown-ups are as smart as they seemed when we were young 🧠💡. It's a tough pill to swallow, especially when you start to suspect that your childhood heroes might have just been winging it all along! 🤷‍♂️🙈 #AdultingIsHard"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the ol' 'fake it till you make it' strategy on full display! 🤣 Who knew a simple shirt could be the ultimate power move in life and in avoiding chores at crowded events? 🙌 Bravo to this genius mastermind wandering around in plain sight! 👕💼 #LifeHack101"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that feigning ignorance could be a genius strategy? 🤓 Just pretend you've misplaced your intelligence for a few moments and watch the workload magically evaporate! 😜✨"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

  Commentary:
  "Knowledge: Tomato is a fruit. Wisdom: Tomato doesn't belong in fruit salad. 🍅🥗 Stay sharp, folks, don't let tomatoes sneak into your fruit salads!"

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