Wordgag ツ

3 months ago
Share →: But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Commentary:
"Well, at least he mastered the art of being a 'phone-y' criminal! 🤣📞 Behind bars but sweet on the line, quite the recipe for a modern romance novel. #SweetTalker #PrisonCharm 😏"
3 months ago
Share →: Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Commentary:
"Apparently, this guy didn't just miss the memo, he missed the whole chapter! 🤷‍♀️ Let's hope he enjoys surprises as much as he enjoys dinner dates! 🙊 #Awkward"
3 months ago
Share →: Feeling guilty for taking up the entire therapy session talking about myself.

Commentary:
"Therapist: 'How do you feel about monopolizing the session?' Me: 'Guilty, but also oddly accomplished. 🤷‍♂️💁‍♀️' Remember, it's called 'therapy,' not 'them-apy' for a reason! 😆 #SelfCenteredAndProud"
3 months ago
Share →: “Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old dilemma: leg bouncing or primal screaming? 🦵😱 Let's choose wisely, shall we? 🤔"
3 months ago
Share →: We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Commentary:
Well, talk about starting a conversation with a bang 🔥💥! It seems like this mother-in-law's decision caught everyone off guard – talk about dropping a hot tea bombshell! 😂 Let's just hope the temperature isn't cranked up too high for this family get-together! 🫖🧥 #TeaTimeTales
4 months ago
Share →: Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic cat chat-up line! 😺 Who knew exchanging meows could be the key to someone's heart? 🐾 Just make sure you both agree on the purr-fect time for some serious meow-sic and cuddles! 🎵😺 #PurrfectPickupLines"
4 months ago
Share →: Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Commentary:
"Twitter: where you can have a full-blown conversation with yourself and suddenly find a whole cheer squad of random strangers joining in 🤪👏 #EchoChamber"
4 months ago
Share →: “It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Commentary:
"I thought I had a one-track mind, turns out it's more like a crowded party bus 🧠🚌 #MindMeldingProblems"
4 months ago
Share →: Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Commentary:
"Who knew that the real horror of hitchhiking is not the potential danger, but the dreaded small talk! 😂 Just stick to blasting your favorite tunes instead! 🚗🎶 #NoSmallTalkZone"
4 months ago
Share →: I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Commentary:
Oh, so now we're taking gardening advice from the flowers, huh? 🌼🌺 I guess it's time for a petal-to-petal conversation! 🌸🌻 Let's hope they don't stem you wrong! 🌱😄