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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Spotted on Telegram:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Freshly posted on X:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Spotted on Twitch:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Going viral on Telegram:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Live now on Snapchat:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Making waves on YouTube:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on X:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Shared recently on Threads:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Live now on TikTok:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Just landed via YouTube:

The older I get, the more I understand why Grumpy Old Men exist.

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Going viral on Instagram:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Reported on Slack:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Just shared via YouTube:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

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